TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: lend me an ear and bless a family

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I write this blog today because I am an angry person. I am an indignant sister, aunt, and daughter and I also speak on behalf of a brother, an uncle and a son.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Yes, I am extremely ticked off. Is there anything you can do to help me? I can answer that for you before you respond…the answer is “NO”. You cannot do anything for me because the issues I have are not with a stranger as the introduction to this letter implies, you are merely Mr. or Ms. "to whom it may concern". My issues are with some members of family and it is time to voice my disappointment in hopes that some will listen.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Please take heed in what I am about to say and try to help me shed some light on what it is that angers me. To be able to explain it without making others angry (or worse) at me for what I need to say to them. So that they listen very carefully and keep my words in context and try to see what it might be that they are lacking or what they can bring to the ole proverbial "table" and help resolve “those family issues”.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: My family is not as close as it could be…am I the only one who sees? I would like to say "NO"! I lay awake at night to try to figure out how I can fix things. My days are bound with ambiguity because I know not where to start. I love my family dearly and don’t want to offend my elders or to taint the way the younger generation looks at me by asking them to be better so that our family can come together again. I see my own faults and I am trying as well to change, but I cannot go at it alone, I need everyone's help to pull our family together again.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I plead and plead for certain family members to get more involved with family events and such, but my pleas fall on deaf ears. I silently bask in disappointment at how my pleas are probably laughed at, but it merely bothers me because it is not brought to ME..."face to face". I never did like the ones who would cowar behind closed doors; please just save us time and grief and tell it to ME. I am not a threatening force, I am here to listen and to help. I am not asking for a lot from them; I just want some participation. For if they do not participate in family events, how are they to expect a favor returned. For when times are tough, how can they expect to survive it alone? Do they not realize that their actions really do say more than words? That their lack of participation, when specifically asked, says little about their character. Does anyone not worry about their character anymore and that their honor could be tainted when they fall short in being good to others. Afterall, those traits are what defines them and some of the few things in life that are free and should really take little effort.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Do we really have rotten people in this family? I stand now and say “NO”, but they are lacking in appreciating what they have. Family is also free and indeed a true gift from the Lord. Do they not see that their elders are getting slammed with old age and that they will not be around forever? Do they believe that life goes on eternal? Do they not see that ignorance of family values is hurting their own spirit? Do they not know that they can really improve their own life by simply being nicer to others and doing something that a loved one requests or needs, can they not see this? Doing a favor should come naturally. Do we need to have a building to fall on us when we want entire family involvement? How long can we go on being selfish and ignoring the feelings of others?

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: When a sister loses her only son, everyone’s heart should break as does hers. Do not just say that your heart is broken, show it. The entire family should have more compassion and when a little favor is asked in a manner in which to remember that loved one, all should exercise some of that compassion and participate from time to time, while remembering that one day it could be you in her shoes. Be thankful that your day has not arrived to be lost in that kind of grief, and cooperate with her in thankfulness that your world is still good. Follow your own heart; the one that the good Lord gave you at birth and disregard anyone who may try to cheat you of said compassion - ignore that they try to make you not do your good deed or deeds in how they may persuade you to stay away - for they are following the path of the soul-less, the path of the un-righteousness, for they could be "LEGION" as it was in the beginning. Even if religion is not your forté, you should know right from wrong.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Everyone knows when loved ones are in need. Do we always have to wait until we are asked to show up for a family event or to do something for someone in need? We should challenge ourselves to be better people and ask "what can I do to help?". Do we need a plane to fly around town with a banner to remind us that a loved one needs a ride somewhere? Last time I checked, the tooth fairy does not take anyone’s widowed and elderly Mom to cash her checks, to pay her bills, to her Dr's appointments, to buy her meds, or to buy her groceries. And what a kick in the head when the one's who seldom or never help are the ones who reap the benefits when someone else has done the favors for the Mom. What a happier life everyone would lead if their Mom was taken care of without her having to ask for any favors. Do people not realize how difficult it really is for a Mom to ask for favors especially one who has always been so independent in the past and who has always sacrificed her own way of life to ensure her family’s life is better and safer (And I do mean everyone, not just her own children)? That Mom still has her pride and why should she not. Ask yourselves how you would feel if your pride was threatened with old age and/or with needing the help of others. Ask yourselves because one day it will happen to you and "old age" will stop on your door-step. Your own pride right now should be to protect your own Mother's pride and ask her what she needs before she has to go to you. If she never asks you for help, do not believe she does not need it. Maybe ask yourself "why does Mom not ask me for anything?". How much suffering does one have to endure before we find compassion for that Mom and just take her to run her errands without her having to ask. All the while remembering to be patient with her because she is not so young anymore and she does indeed move slower and she does get tired more quickly. Remember that she moves slower now because her bones are old and fragile because she spent the better part of her young and vigorous life doing things for you and most likely she did those things for your children as well in her older years when she should have been relaxing and taking better care of her own health. Next time honor her age, honor her spirit and honor the love she has always had for you. Remember the times she most likely went hungry so you could eat. Remember the times she went with torn clothes so you could have better ones. Remember the times she worked - be it cold, raining, hot, whether she was ill, tired or just did not feel up to it – but she worked nonetheless so you did not go without a single important thing. Remember how she took care of when you were ill and she herself was too but she probably did not let you know that so you could be her priority. Remember how she took care of your loved ones as well when you yourself may have been too selfish "to step up to that plate". Remember her actions and let her actions serve as a role model for you to try to emulate. She should be your hero. She should be a priority. She should be assisted without hesitation. One day she won’t be around. What will you do the day that it happens? Will you be at rest because she is now at rest and you know you did everything you could have and should have done for her while she was still alive? Or will that be your beginning of endless, restless, and guilt-ridden nights knowing you could have and should have done more, but now she is gone.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: As life should have taught everyone by now, being alone is terrible...take time to spend with a loved one who might be alone. That person could also be that Mother who never left you alone when you were in need. Place yourself in a lonely person's shoes and share some of your own time. Simply showing up for life and partaking in everything it has to offer should be enough, but from time to time, we should take the lead and place others before ourselves. A true sacrifice for the benefit of others is a beautiful thing. Share of yourself and your time and you will reap the rewards. Live each day with faith leading the way and don't question it; it will NEVER let you down.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Life really is beautiful and needs not be so difficult. Our stresses and issues in life are not other people’s fault or other people’s envy; our problems are more than likely the fault of the person one sees in the mirror. We have more control over our lives and our lives really are what we make of them. If you try hard, I mean really, really hard to succeed, you most likely WILL. If you do nothing to better your situation, opportunity cannot come around to lend a hand and you should not depend on others to fix your own problems. Life tends to forget people with that kind of negative attitude, but Life surely does reward those with a positive one. How can anyone expect their children or anyone else to be of good morals and good character when they may have themselves failed in those departments? When times are rough, family is fantastic to have around for support and maybe for guidance; however, we cannot pick and choose when we decide to be part of family. We take the good with the bad and when it is time for us to step up to the plate, choose to be of good character. No one can take that away and I have a strong belief that someone above will smile down at you and say “well done”.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: One day we all will be old. One day we will be struck by grief. One day we will be the one looking in. Do we want life to send people who lack morals and character your way when that day arrives. I say “NO” and I personally refuse to be that kind of person now. I will ignore the ignorance of others. I will denounce the denouncement of others. I will do my own part to support the family, but priorities will be enforced. I will return favors as they are done for me and if none are done, I have nothing to worry about. I will also keep true to my mantra that when I do a favor, I will NOT expect one in return. I never have, you know. I just plan for family to be a priority. Being part of family and cooperating in it more often than not should not be a favor nor a bother, it should be something one does out of appreciation, out of being grateful, out of faith, and for sure to be done out of so much love.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I SIGN OUT FOR NOW...My name is Karma. I remain angry, and I will continue to watch over you.